As we head into the winter season, I’m looking back on the last piece from the tsumami-zaiku association advanced course. This is one of those pieces that I struggled with; not because it was difficult, but because I often have a hard time finishing pieces that are the last in a series. When I think about “the impossible task” – tasks that feel like things I just can’t do, even if they aren’t really insurmountable, I often think of things that are either the first or the last step in a long series.
While I never really think of myself as a person who has a hard time finishing things – seeing as how I have finished any number of crazy projects over the years – I’ve always found myself hesitating when I get to the end of something. My friend Allison has always joked that I’m not afraid of failure; I’m afraid of success, because then I have to come up with what happens next.
So of course, when faced with completing the last piece in the advanced course – and knowing that I would then be done with all three courses – I struggled with that foreboding feeling of the impossible task. But that hesitation didn’t stop me from completing the piece. It just made it take a little bit longer than it needed to.
As it turns out, I didn’t really have to think too hard about what comes next. I thought this project would be the end of my certification class, but during my class review I learned that completing the three courses was only part one of two. If I complete all three courses to satisfaction, and the teacher approved of my work during the review, then I would be allowed to apply for teaching certification.
This was a bit of a surprise, but coming up with an idea for a final piece that displayed my talents – and completing the additional skills tests – didn’t seem so burdensome. Once the tension of having done what I thought was the final project was broken, I didn’t feel like I was struggling so much anymore.
Looking back on this vibrant red-orange and white chrysanthemum kanzashi, I now feel a sense of warmth and accomplishment. The colors are meant to evoke the new year and bring good luck, and I definitely feel lucky to have been able to complete such work.
Speaking of luck, I want to acknowledge again that the creation of this piece would not have been possible without the support of SK Arts, whose funding helped make my enrollment in the ITA Tsumami-zaiku courses possible.
Thank you SK Arts for your support in furthering my artistic practice!
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